Sibling Rivalry?

There's 2 parts to this post & both piss me off equally.
The first concerns Daniel - my beautiful 2yo grandson who has lived with us from day one, And Jason - my lovely 12yo slightly autistic son.
I always thought Jason would make a great big brother. He's simple and likes simple things. He's kinda helpful and likes pleasing people. But he has no time what so ever for Daniel. Daniel loves Jason. He looks up to him and wants to do whatever Jason is doing. That alone should impress Jason. But he treats Daniel as if he is a non-person. A thorn in his side. A pimple on the family. He leaves Daniel out of things like he just doesn't exist, leaving Daniel feeling totally distraught.
Jason should know better. His own sisters treated him like shit. It only got worse when he was diagnosed with Autism, because they just didn't want to be patient or understand him. And its pained him all these years.
So the fact that he in turn treats Daniel like nothing saddens me beyond words. Daniel is the odd one out. He;s not a 'real' sibling. He's not a 'real' offspring. So he's not 'real' family? I hurt for Daniel for many reasons, But the fact that his own 'brother' treats him like he has no value what so ever breaks my heart in a way i should never have to feel. And there is no solution to that...

The second part of this post is about Selena - a beautiful baby girl who is Daniels sister.
Alix gave birth to her on NYE. I'd been in 2 minds about Selena until then. Happy that I'll have a grand daughter, but scared because of how things panned out with Daniel.
But once i saw Selena's photo, i was hooked. I couldn't help myself or stop it. I fell in love with this tiny bundle of princess.
I'm a realist. I realise theres a good chance Selena will end up in care. I really hope not, but its a possibility. John and i had talked about it and theres no way we can take in another baby. It's not fair on us or the kids. I really don't think our marriage would cope with another one.
I have prayed for Selena and i know that if she does end up in care, it will be the right place for her.
But i can still love her, right? I can still love her but not prepare to be her sole carer. But John and the kids are worried that if i get emotionally attached i wont be able to help myself - I'll throw my family under the bus in order to take her in. But I've already resigned to the fact that we cant raise her.
I just love her. But I'm not allowed to voice it. I'm not allowed to talk about her. I hate that. My first grand daughter and I'm not allowed to be joyful in front of my own family.

I know we cant raise her if it came to that. i know that. But i love her anyway. I'll love her no matter where she is. I just have to love her in silence, and that SUX!