Stiff Upper Lip

I really feel like life is crushing me a bit at the moment...
Our troubled teenage daughter has moved back home & She's pregnant [due next month].
She didn't want the baby once the [maybe] dad left the picture and so John & i was going to raise him.
Since then, John has decided he doesn't want to do that [for reasons that are perfectly understandable] but being clucky as i am, my romantic side is mourning that possibility a bit, because i'd prepared myself for that.
Since Alix moved back in, she's been Mrs. Negative about everything and sucks the very life out of the house, every single day. I just feel the need to get away from her all the time!

Rose is getting into the Goth/Emo thing [and has been since before Alix came home] and if we don't all want to talk about her hair or possible piercings, she doesn't seem to want to talk to us. Rose is one of my favourite people and i feel the loss of the relationship that is naturally slipping away into teen hood.

I can't find a job and i feel bad about not being able to contribute to the family income that i know gets John down.

I don't feel overly close to John right now. I want to, but i feel as if he is overwhelmed by everything too [work. home life]. I'd like to re-spark things between us [be romantic etc] but everything i try, my efforts get thwarted by circumstances.

My health isn't too good at the moment. For some reason, i feel fluey after dark every night. I can't find anything on Google about it and i don't want my doctor saying i'm imagining things coz it doesn't make sense.

I tried to clear things up with my sister after our argument. I called her and she didn't seem to want to talk about it but after she expressed that she was hurt, she said it was all good and we could move on. But we haven't. I haven't heard from her since, and i still feel that loss but don't know what else to do with it.

My ex-husband is trying to pick a fight with me over the e-mail, after telling me to 'lose his contact details' because child maintenance went after him for back payment, which is something out of my control...sigh...

My Dad has been diagnosed with cancer. The same cancer that stole my mother. He told my sister and i thought he would tell me. I mean, isn't that the right thing to do, as a parent? But he hasn't. Maybe he doesn't feel close enough to me to share that. That would really, really suck!

I just feel a bit ambushed & depressed at the moment and it feels yucky. I'd like to run away and hide somewhere for a while, but i'm the Mum, so i can't do that.

How Bad Is Bad?

Does this picture bother you? It sure as heck bothered me when i found it on the net! And yet it fits this post soooo well!
I started at a new job today [yay!] on a production line. and during a break i talked to the young man i was working with. He is a lovely guy who is only about 17-18yo and [I don't know how the convo got around to this] he was telling me about how his 12yo sister is dating an 18yo man. [This isn't the first case i've heard about recently either] Of course i expressed concern about that, and he went on to say that his cousins and nieces of the same age [11-13] all can't wait to get in on the dating/sex scene and prep themselves for it with clothes and make up etc. He spoke about it like it was a normal way of life. He had the attitude of, "Yea well, they are starting younger these days." I just wanted to grab him by the shoulders, shake him madly, and scream, "Are you crazy?!?! Let's find these guys and beat the shit out of them!!!" and then report them to the police!
I find this really shocking! I have a daughter aged 12 and to me she is still a baby in the ways of the world. She still plays with her Baby Born and her Barbies. She makes Duplo/Lego houses and plays her recorder while sitting on the trampoline. She spends more time with our cats and her DS than her freinds.
And yet there are 12yos out there having adult "relationships" with 18yo men? And people see this as ok?? I spose with young girls listening to and idolising women such as The Pussycat dolls [John calls them the prostitute dolls which is much more fitting!] etc, the wrong message is the bold as brass one. [Which is why i don't let my kids listen to this crap]
I really hate that we live in a world that is ruled by money and sex, regardless of age. In fact it literally hurts my heart. What happened to the age of innocence? What happened to protecting our children from the harsh realities of "life" for as long as we could? What happened to childhood?
Am i just an old fuddy duddy?
Are my ideals old fashioned?
Am i living in the dark ages?
Am i wrapping my kids in cotton wool?
Some might say so.
But dam, my children are precious to me, and childhood is all too fleeting anyway, so i'll hold onto it for as long as i can on their behalf! I can only do what i believe to be right. And in my heart of hearts, letting my 12yo be ready to date an 18yo [ or even dress/act like she wants to] is certainly not it!

*

It says in the Bible that Jesus will come back when the days are as bad as they were in the time of Noah. Not that i am questioning God at all, but just how black does mans heart have to get before it's as bad as the days of Noah??

Space Invaders

Over 200 years ago, Australia was a peaceful country. It had simple order and it was a great, spiritual place to roam. (I don't know what it was called. But I'll find out :o)
Then one day the British "boat people" turned up. They wanted a little bit of land as a new place to start fresh, And the aboriginals, being a sharing bunch, said it was ok. So the British thought it a nice place to move in some fresh settlers, and to dump a few hundred Petty convicts.
Sounds simple enough, but they quickly decided that they wanted more, much more. They then sent a bunch of free settlers to New Zealand to live as well [But that's a different post] They gave the country a new name and a British flag.
They took over Australia quickly, with no regard or respect of the local aboriginals. They introduced foxes, rabbits and cane toads to eat the once beautiful country side. They imposed their British laws on the land, took the locals as slaves, and stole their children.
Then the aboriginals complained, so the British threw money at them to shut them up. The aboriginals didn't want money, they wanted respect. But the British just threw more & more money at them.
Then the British decided that they wanted Australia all to themselves, and banned any more "boat people". If anyone else decided they liked Australia from afar, they were thrown into prison and left to sew their mouths shut in protest. The British had control of this glorious continent, and they weren't giving an inch to anyone else!
But the British descendants, Or new Australians, were blissfully unaware of a new invasion. One so sneaky that they had no idea it was even happening.
The free settlers in New Zealand were moving over the ditch to Australia one by one. The New Zealanders [or Kiwis] respect native culture, so they settled into the back ground quite well.
Australians often complain,"There's more kiwis here than Australians!"....Well, if only they knew the half of it!

Karma is a bitch!